Monday, April 4, 2011

Stalked

I'm being followed.  Something just seems to be behind me, just out of sight, as if it were my own shadow, looming over me as I move.  Its...there's something out there, behind me.  I don't know what it is, but I can feel it.

It's not him, though...that thing is different.  It has this aura about it, the monster, you all know.  I mean I haven't seen the monster in three months.  He doesn't care about me anymore.  I care about him though.  He killed some people I liked.  I saw them as my family, you know.  All you guys that I talked to back in the day, you all helped me...and here I am...well, you know.

It's so fucking bitter.  I have to, guys, I just...

You don't understand this vision, this need.  Its like my hands move and



I'm compelled.  And I don't understand why God would do this to me.  I never even believed in him, but someone is out here helping me, coaxing me along.  He's here to  Help me.   Ever since my helper rescued me
from that horrid tree, the Bleeding Tree.

Fuck, the

Fuck.  I keep seeing it, every turn I take, if there's a treeline...this huge dark space fills it up, blood oozing out of the ground.  Its face dark and shaded, almost human.  It judges me, it waits.

It fucking waits for me.  It knows what I am doing, what I need to do, and it judges me, it fucking...
it's just SITTING THERE, AND JUDGING ME, god I

A few weeks..or maybe days, I can't remember anymore.  I checked my email...and people were talking to me, they asked for help.    Five of them sent me emails.  They didn't forget about me, I guess.

The first, I forget her name,  Kelly I think...  No...not Jill, Jill fell, she died earlier.  Kelly...

She was in poor shape, when she wrote to me.  Binary code laced her words, I could hear her suffering in every word she wrote.  She left a phone number, begging me, begging zerosage to help her.   It had been in my account for some time, but I decided to call.  My job is to help everyone, that's what Robert pushed me to do.  That's what you wanted of me,  how can I refuse to help?  People look up to me.

When I spoke to her, I tried to remain calm, to passively reassure her that I was en route to help.  What I heard in return was a woman who had lost all hope.  Her voice cracked in stress, her silences were belabored with tears and panic.  My heart wept, just hearing the..the sheer pain and passion in her voice. 

It took me several days to investigate, to find her in Ladoga.  Kelly was blonde, her hair trailed down her back, caked with mud, blood and sweat.  She had a dark complexion that just made her dark eyes stand out more... would've been beautiful if her face wasn't all smashed up, cut with glass.  I chastised myself, purging my lecherous nature, restraining myself from leering at her.  I simply needed to speak to her.  I needed to help her.  She told me about the monster, how it followed her...  I've heard it all before, of course.  However, Kelly was smart enough to check the internet, in hopes of rationalizing her delusions. 

She tried every possible conjecture to ward him away, strange symbols scattered over the room, garlic, and crystals were scattered over the home.  Lately, she had simply lost the will to live, having decided to drink to excess, and failing that, overdose on Nyquil, in hopes of a night of peace...of death.  I could hear that...that soulless droning, that should've been called a lovely voice.  It had no spirit, no...inflection.  She was dead inside. 

Have you ever watched a person become reborn?  I sat with her, and talked to her.  I could relate to her situation so well, that for a moment, I saw life in her eyes.  She was not alone, not with me there.  The fire of hope just barely flickered.  She begged me not to leave her, to take her with me.  I agreed, of course.  She was once a beautiful woman, and she needed me.  I was here to help her.

As she packed her things, her mind preoccupied, rattled with the concept of survival, I walked into her room behind her, and removed my mask.

I am an average man, I believe, but when she turned around towards me, she saw me as god himself, I think.  Kelly came towards me, crying.  I held her tight against me, feeling the soft warmth of her body, her supple curves against me.  As gently as I could, I whispered to her, that I would take care of her, that I would make her right.  She closed her eyes, and nodded softly.  I kissed her on the forehead.

She never saw the knife.

My stomach wretched immediately as she fell backwards, my eyes shut tightly.  I couldn't bear to see the look in her eyes.  The look of betrayal.  I...I can't bear it.  So I sat there, on my knees, as I heard her gurgle, and vomited everything I've ever eaten.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to explain, in a solemn whisper, that I would save her.  She just had to trust me....

After I was certain she had fallen silent, lifeless, I set to my grim task.  I..
I didn't want to.  Really...she was beautiful, she needed me.   But she had been taken, she wasn't human anymore really.  She had almost become one of them.  Kelly was too exposed to the evils, the darkness outside our time.

I covered her face with some blankets, heaping clothes atop her until only her left arm was visible, and then with my knife, I cut into her. 

Tendons and ligaments impeded me, to the point that afterwards I picked up a serrated knife for this purpose.  I cursed myself, screaming wordlessly, as I begged forgiveness from her, from everyone.

The tree outside stared back in.

Judging me.

I claimed the bone, THAT bone, the one to stop him, stowing it in my backpack, then moved on.

It sits there now, next to the others.
Next to Amelia's.

Forgive me, Amelia.  I am still here to save you.

43 comments:

  1. After reading all of that, I finally know what you remind me of. You remind me of some, insane cereal killer, running around killing people and claiming that it's, "In the name of God" and that "He has chosen me to fulfill his wishes". It's probably not the best comparison, but give me time, I'm sure I'll find a better one.

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  2. Dammit, zerosage! I...I don't...

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  3. Sabrina, you say Zero reminds you of a cereal killer? You mean he kills Rice Krispies?

    Oh, Zero, dear friend, I thought I was the crazy one here. You seem to one-up me on that field every time...

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  4. This means, I assume, that you remember what it's like to SAVE lives rather than destroy them.

    However, you say this is a compulsion you feel. That changes things slightly.

    Tell me, zerosage - and I ask this in all seriousness, I genuinely want to know - If you had not killed Kelly, if you had defied that compulsion... what would have happened?

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  5. @Sabrina: So zerosage is a cereal killer now? Should I live in fear that he will hunt me down and eat all my Lucky Charms?

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  6. Ryuu, he probably would've got some poo-tang. That bitch gave off some heavy "I need to FUCK" signs, unless that's just the psychotic narcissism and rampant hero complex talking through the description given of her actions.

    Whoops, sorry! I forgot I shouldn't be offending a guy whose strongest weapon is a flimsy little stainless steel katana and whose primary targets are helpless, confused, and supernaturally harassed women who he thinks get their pants soaked over his every movement. He may use his magic ninja skills to deflect bullet shots and take my funny bone out so I can't work part-time as a two-bit comedian anymore!

    Fucking disgusting, sick shit you've got going on here, Mr. Zero"Sage". What a damn shame if your ends don't eventually justify your means. Then you may actually be forced to face the consequences of your atrocious actions.

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  7. Wow, you have just changed the place of your own angel with a demon. That 'thing' following you is actually being fed by your sense of guilt.

    Well, since you still have some guilt, that means is not too late brother.

    'The light reside between the shadows, and the shadows haven't beat the light' that's all I have to say you now.

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  9. Snore.

    Not. Necessary.


    zerosage, my question stands. If it's a compulsion, there may be a way to overcome it, if you want to. If you would rather go back to saving lives. THAT'S the path destiny lies on, man.

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  10. @Sabrina: hah

    Anyways, wooee we're in some deep shit. Anybody know where Zerosage might be so I can stay the hell away from him?

    Seriously, this guy is so deep in his own psychosis that no amount of reasoning will snap him out of it. Don't bother, just sit back and enjoy the fireworks.

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  11. Thank you for answering the million dollar question, Zero. Zero, have you considered that you're being manipulated?

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  12. guilt

    of course i feel guilt

    who could take a

    life


    just

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  13. We know you feel horrible about what's happening, but there's a chance, a good chance, that you can stop it.

    Try to focus, man. What's compelling you? What would happen if you didn't obey?

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  14. corruption

    loss

    another soul eaten



    ...

    damn it, don't you see?

    he's there, he's in heaven

    he's killing the afterlife

    sacrifice a little now

    or all of creation later

    are you strong enough, Ryuu, to do it?

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  15. Zerosage or Remnant, I have to agree with Keikun and Hakurei. This isn't any sort of divine compulsion you're following. God wouldn't be commanding you to take the lives of the innocent and those that suffer.

    A demonic presence might be within you, Zerosage. Beneath your guilt and hatred beats the heart of the caring, compassionate man you used to be. Try and resist the compulsion to slay those who run. No amount of killing will ever get rid of the darkness in your heart. You can't erase darkness with more darkness. It doesn't make sense.

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  16. How do you know, though?

    How do you know what It's doing in the afterlife? (whatever afterlife you choose to believe in...)

    How do you know that all of this is what is needed to save everyone? Where did you get your information? How did you verify it?

    So many questions, and the answers could change everything.


    Am I strong enough? I like to think I'm strong enough not to kill, regardless of who's trying to kill me. That's just how I am.

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  17. Zero, tell us everything. What convinces you that this is God telling you to do these things?
    Okay, so you saw a bleeding tree with bodies hanging from it? Alright, so you feel compelled to murder Runners. I'm still not seeing how the two add up to Divine Intervention.

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  19. WE will be strong enough to defeat Winged, just patience is needed.

    You use your head too much.
    USE YOUR HEAD IF NECESSARY, IF NOT USE YOUR HEART, IF THAT FAILS TOO USE FAITH (yep, actually you're the first person I scold for something).

    'Why God did this to me?' I heard it pretty much lately, then I laugh and say to them

    -God is not the one who is suppose to do something, you are the one who need to prove something to him-
    You are being proved, don't fail your test. And I'm afraid your are note approving brother.

    And sorry if I make you fall from your cloud but you are starting to be just a distraction (we don't have time for distractions now). I see there is not point in trying to save your soul, that's something that you must do on your own now. I cant do more than pray.

    I will stop blogging here, the other should too, we are just feeding a fire of confusion in your head.

    @Hakurei
    I don't know if you had prayed for the fallen ones in this (I recognize with the lately activity there would not be even time for that, and most people don't even pray any more..), but sometimes when I do I feel something is wrong.

    I don't fear to much things now, but one fear I have is that I will not be able to rest from this war, even if I'm death.

    But whatever I feel like I'm speaking too much here already, that is something I should leave for myself.

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  20. Zero, Zero, Zero...

    The Master does not like that you are robbing Him of His game.

    But He cannot help but be... amused, shall we say, by what you have become.

    ~Regards

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  22. Will cutting off your dick end this Narcissistic, God Complex of yours?

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  23. Zero, Remnant, whichever you prefer:

    There is a point where all you can do is walk away. They made you kill Amelia, they smashed your world to pieces. Leave this to somebody else. No one can ask you to come back after that.

    Maybe I'm insane. Maybe I'm not. But I've seen the power of heaven and hell. They're not getting eaten by this thing anytime soon. Not so long as one person still believes in either of them.

    You've done enough. Leave this to us.

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  24. I'm crying again for the both of you. But she wouldn't want you to do this.

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  25. You know what, I'm sick of this zerosage/remnant crap. Make your freaking mind up already.
    Then... I dunno, keep killing people I guess.

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  26. zeroremnantsage

    fallen

    the Blood does not come out, OUT,DAMNSPOT
    feel everythinggo aroun d
    thearchangelintheskyisblindhedoesnotsee
    zeroyoulostHedoesnotseeyouHedoesnotcare
    masterconstructoperatorkingangelofdeath
    igosoonTimerunsout



    ...

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  27. I have NOT LOST, asshole....hypocritical...fucking...fake angel
    I'm damn close to putting your boss away
    and doesn't that just piss you off?

    Also, I just have to say, that I'm only killing corrupted people, not just anyone who walks my way. I'm not a damn serial killer, my targets are those people who have either succumbed, or about to succumb. I dispense mercy and justice. A few months ago people cheered when all sorts of proxy scum got killed, but now...apparently that's bad.

    You guys are a joke sometimes. That's alright though, I'll fix this issue, because well...all your organizations and stuff really fixed the situation, didn't it?

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  28. Yes, just like your little stunt did, asshole.

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  29. Again, your logic isn't all the way flawed. I can't decide whether you've lost it completely or not, Zerosage.

    I agree with most of your arguments, sadly enough. Nothing has worked so far, maybe harvesting bones for some seemingly psychotic reason might have some merit.

    I mean, Slender Man was warded off with a twenty dollar bill one time. Zerosage might be on to something. Or completely out of his mind. Someone greater than I will have to figure that one out.

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  30. WE'RE a joke?! Looks who's talking, Mr. Failed-Solstice-Plan. Sorry, but you have no rights to stare down your nose at us or mock us when your own venture failed completely and ended in Amelia's death. You only get to have a high and mighty attitude if you actually do better than us, which you won't.

    We're not criticizing you just for killing proxies. It's that you didn't even try to help that girl. If you were just killing proxies, that would be one thing, but you're not doing that. You're finding people at the end of their ropes and killing them in their most desperate moment. Besides which, we probably shouldn't have been rejoicing when we killed proxies, anyway, since most of them are unwillingly enslaved poor souls, anyway.

    Why do you refuse to answer my questions? Are you afraid that you'll have to admit that this idea is insane? Come on, Zero"sage" and supposed hero. Show me what you're made of and give us the whole story.

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  32. You say you only kill the corrupted? Do you not realize that includes yourself? You are a slave to Slender Man's will. He caught you in a labyrinth and then twisted your good nature to do his bidding. If you truly wish to be the Hero then you need to free yourself from the madness that has enslaved you. You say you do this in the name of mercy? There is no such thing as a mercy killing when the victims can be saved from death. Zero wake up from this nightmare, and remember your true self. Become Zerombr once again.

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  33. Zero, your most recent comments were out of line.

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  34. perhaps they were out of line.

    I need to remember why I'm doing this, and not let myself get frustrated that no one else gets it...

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  35. HAHAHA. Kelly. Same name. Cool. Anyway good work Zero.

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  36. Some part of me believes he's doing the right thing. I may not be as seasoned as everyone else but...something good will come from this. I know it. Zero. You can do this. Keep being a hero.

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  38. Maybe we would get it if you stop withholding information. You're not telling us everything. Spill it, or I proclaim you a coward.

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  39. @Ron - I believe your question was, how do I know my vision was good and not evil?

    I was being killed, Ron. Ever been killed? Something about that

    that fucking tree,
    I can't describe it. It was a weight, like..like gravity just started pulling me down, everything about me just stopped working, stopped being able to resist.

    And then...just in a flash of light, the
    the tree just lost control over me, as if it's dark tendrils were slashed in half by a sword of light.

    And then I saw my answer.

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  40. Alright, that's better. Okay, so bleeding tree nearly killed you, then you were suddenly freed from it's grasp by a flash of light and woke back in the regular world. Did you see anything in the flash of light? Is there anything else? Anything at all that you can add to this tale. Talk to us, Zero. Give us everything you can.
    It is very important that you share any other details you can remember. Zero, is it possible that this Tree was just screwing with you like Slender Man? Remember, Slender Man and all things related to Him are masters of the mindfuck. You have to consider the possibility that you are not well.

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  41. Hero. Monster. What the hell are you now?
    We needed help, need help, but... better to stand and face Him alone, to die alone while at least resisting, than to give in and be taken out by one of our own.

    Zero, Remnant, Heretic, Savior... what are you now?

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  42. Would you rather turn to join him, condemned into a nightmare, or be put down with love and mercy?

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  43. Unfortunately these killings make us enemies.

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