Thursday, March 31, 2011

Tirades...

Looks like I need to do some explaining.  Alright, I get that.  I come on here, I'm screaming at the internet, at Frap, at Shelby, at whoever will listen.  I'm calling out righteous fury on anything that moves.  I think it's obvious.

I'm pissed.  Yeah, I'm still upset.  I mean, you can't see it, it's not like I'm shaking uncontrollably, and seeing red, or anything.  I just...well, I thought I had a destiny, you know?  I saw my chance, my chance to be somebody stolen away from me, by a monster that didn't even show up for a fight.  He wasn't there that night...god...that night....

I'm sorry about a lot of things I've said, and done lately.  I'm sorry that I fell into this horrid mauldin persona I called Remnant, as in 'what is left of a man when you strip away his pride?"  I need to clear something up first before I continue.  Remnant is not some multiple personality of me,  I just...I just got all depressed.  I was so... sure that I would have died, that my death could've meant something.  I fell into a depression, that's it really.

So, you all are still wondering what is going on with me.  I don't remember everything that happened 'that night', but I've apparently become quite the shitty artist.

I walked into the woods that night, after the monster...the Slender Man no-showed my huge event, my grand ambush, my chance for redemption.  I shouldn't have been surprised.  I hadn't seen him since he killed Amelia.

God, I.

I was in there, searching for him, I needed to do this, to fight him, to get in one shot, before I died.  The story could've come true, if I could just...  In the forest, I saw bodies.  I'm not certain who, but they hung from the branches above me.  I screamed out for him, I called him everything in the book.  I saw

a tree

and this tree was alone from the others.  It was vastly different, it has this...presence to it, as if it were different.  Bodies of...of people I knew were impaled upon it, their inn...fuck...

Their guts were just hanging out...god.  So many dead...it just..it was just so huge, and so tall

It had to have been visible outside the forest, so many dead, hanging off of it.  And then it moved.

The tree moved, just a little.  It's bark shifted.  I felt this...this weight crash down onto me, and fell to the ground.  My vision twisted around as if I was spinning in a freefall.  Darkness surrounded me, the light of the blood moon faded to a mote in the distance.  I felt my heart pounding loudly in my chest, as I gasped for breath, for purchase.  That fear, his fear started to overtake me as it had before so many times.  I suddenly heard not a single sound as I struggled to my feet, using that crappy sword of mine as a crutch.  Color drained out of my vision, the silence was replaced by rushing water, as I stumbled towards the tree, wavering.  I knew my heart had stopped beating, even as I swung at this malevolence, hoping to myself that I could accomplish something before I died.

The tree bled.

That...
that fucking tree bled as I collapsed on my side.  The blood glistened in that pale light, that tiny speck of light that was the blood moon. 

I awoke, sitting on a fallen tree, my head in my hands, having vomited and cried until I had nothing left to give...yet there was a difference in me.  I...I felt different, I had begged God, or whoever was out there to help me, and it had happened.  I was saved from this...horrid, evil thing that was the Bleeding Tree. 

So the long sojourn out of that hell that was the forest began.  I entered a clearing where the moon shone down upon me, and suddenly things were so clear to me.  I realize now that I had a vision.  That was what was so important about the Solstice, I had to be there to hear those thoughts.  There was a need that I was chosen to fulfill. 

Its hard to explain really this need, I weep when I think of it.  The idea of killing these people, you Runners, you Fighters, whatever the hell title you take.  I succumbed to this concept a week or so ago, when I wrote...I wanted to justify myself, calling itself a 'sacred call'.  I raged against everyone I knew, so I could feel better about myself and my task, knowing that it is God's work.

I...I just know that if I were to kill enough Runners...and take a bone from your bodies, that eventually, this will work out.  But who could do such a terrible act?  How could I kill someone I swore to protect?  I mean I have to trust in people, in the truth, right? I weep every time I think of what I am compelled to do.

Such...such horror to contemplate.  I know I'm still a man, I know, I'm not some proxy scum.  Those are the people I want to kill, the ones that have infiltrated and corrupted us, I'll take this...this evil task onto myself if I must to save the innocents.  The blessed innocents.

So please trust in me a little longer.

And don't worry that I'm going to start killing Runners.




For I have already started.

74 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Zero, please, you can't do this. They're just people, doing their best to survive, just like you. They haven't done anything to deserve this.

    You already know this isn't something you want to do. You already know this isn't right. So stop. These are the people who trusted you to save them, ALL of them. You can still do that, Zero. But you can't help them if they're dead.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're the one that I congratulated a bit ago, aren't you?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, I am. And I had mixed feelings about that. Initially I was honored, because I hold you in very high esteem. But Kay is fine, and she's going to stay fine. There was no control, no proxification, nothing that would put her in a suspicious light. She was tortured, and she went through hell, but she will be okay.

    I just ask that you listen to logic, Zero. Killing some runners to save others isn't the way. Your enemy is the one we're ALL running from, not us.

    ReplyDelete
  5. How can I trust you? You did...things, or claimed you did. You 'healed' wounds, you say.

    Your friend summoned a fucking devil, or claims therein.

    I think you're both mad. As for Kay, perhaps she was drugged, I've learned that jade can tell if someone is tainted. I don't need it to know you two are doing things you shouldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I did things that anyone can do with the proper knowledge, preparation, and skill, and so did my friend. There is nothing mad about me, although I cannot speak for Amalgamation, as he makes no claims at sanity. In fact, he disclaims it at every opportunity.

    It is my opinion that the only way to keep moving foward is to do the best we can to help the largest number of people. You can trust me or not, as you like, but I'm not going to stop trying to make you see reason. I would like to help you, Zero, if I can.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think you need to wake up then. A sane person in this situation, or at least one with a few threads left, would realize that insanity is as much the enemy as the monster.

    That madness spreads, it's not just centralized in one person, one that in your case summoned a devil....

    If you were sane, you would realize that the only way to keep yourself, and Kay alive, would be to eliminate the source of madness about you.

    Him. The devil summoner who disavows sanity.

    You want to help me? You want to do God's work?

    Thin the herd, and pray forgiveness for it. That's what I've had to do. Kill with purpose, with greater good in mind, and weep afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Zerombr, sir, thank you for, um, explaining.

    But damn.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't want to do God's work, Zero. I want to help YOU.

    There is no greater good, not like this. Saving as many as we can NEVER means offing some of them.

    My friend is skilled, intelligent, and loyal, and I wish to keep him around. He is, after all, my friend.

    I will stay alive, and I will keep my friends alive. That goal is not accomplished by killing, I promise you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh...yeah. I remember. I'm sorry, Zerosage, sir. I won't try to convince you out of your path.

    ReplyDelete
  11. zerosage, then.

    Do you understand what I'm saying to you, zerosage? You and I both only want to do what is right.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Do what you want Zerosage, no ones stopping you.
    Just remember that by announcing to the world your intentions, you've given all the Runners a heads up.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You just don't understand what needs to be done. You think I enjoy what I have to do to make things right? You don't think I vomited up everything I ever ate when I tried to take the ulna from the first one? You don't think I shed tears for the lives I've had to take, in the name of our survival, our victory?

    Every war has casualties, I weep for every one lost. But it has to be worth it in the end, to kill the beast.

    I'll say nothing more on the issue now.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You don't HAVE to do anything. I promise.

    But until next time then. Go well.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh yes. What we did to save Kay was completely and totally insane. As it is, I'm probably going to have two LARGE and MEAN things trying to kill me VERY soon. I'm prepared to pay that price. Moving on...

    For better or for worse, you and I are a lot alike, Zero. I spent my early life with a lot of things trying to kill me, ended up deciding I wanted payback, and found the weapons I needed to get it. Then of course there were two years of fighting, and six years of illusory hell caused by the woman I loved going crazy and deciding that the only way to make things right was to kill me.

    I'm just saying, there are parallels here.

    As it is, my spiritual form is a clunky amalgamation of parts held together by sheer force of will. It's hard to hold it together some days. I try to laugh as hard as I can, while I can.

    Assuming it even exists and I'm not completely insane. The possibility that I'm completely insane is strong.

    So yeah, I'm probably insane, among other things. I don't expect anyone to approve of me. What I will say though is this: I may not know for sure one way or the other if I've ever killed anyone in our world, but I've caused enough death through my actions to know about the price involved. Any weapon that requires killing Runners to forge will ultimately prove useless. A couple Runner-Bones will give you a neat tool, but that's about it. You'll have killed a lot of innocent people for a tool you couldn't fully understand.

    But hey, you pays your dues and takes yer chances, as they say. And if you want to kill us or Kay, that's your decision. I'd just ask that you get in line and take a number. We've got plenty of takers on that score already.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Zero... This scheme of yours' is not going to work. Killing Runners will not solve our problem. The Observe and Terminate guys already tried this and it failed utterly, remember? This is not the answer. You are essentially doing the beast's work for it.

    Fine. You want to start killing Runners? Two others and myself live in Chicago right now. If you think you can: bring it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ron, firstly, remember you are mortal, just as mortal as I. This facade of bravado doesn't mean a thing to me.

    I also don't understand why you are so hostile to me, as last I recall, you did not suffer any sign of corruption.

    But you're willing to go to bat, to prove you're a tough guy? You can't be the hero.

    That job is taken.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Zerosage.

    I will make this very clear.

    If you come down to my neck of the woods and make Vivi and Chester your next targets I will end you. Because they don't remember, they're defenceless and they...fuck. They're happy now. They're free.

    Whoever you were to them, if anyone tries to touch Vivi and Chester I will rip them apart.

    --Stella

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow. Missing the point much?

    "Ron, firstly, remember you are mortal, just as mortal as I. This facade of bravado doesn't mean a thing to me."
    No shit, Sherlock. This isn't bravado.

    "I also don't understand why you are so hostile to me, as last I recall, you did not suffer any sign of corruption."
    You're running around killing Runners and you ask why I'm being hostile? You're killing us! Not cool. We have enough problems without one of our own helping It end lives. This scheme will never work.
    Murdering innocents, taking their bones, and fashioning a tool will not create a weapon that will defeat Slender Man. First of this, this scheme will fail because one of your targets will get the better of you. And even if you do get enough bones, the weapon will fail and you will be left with a failed plan and blood on your hands, assuming that Slender Man didn't kill you during your attempt.

    "But you're willing to go to bat, to prove you're a tough guy? You can't be the hero."
    Wrong. I just want to stop you. You can't be the hero, either. No one is. This will be a group effort to figure out how to destroy Slender Man even if a singular person does deal the finishing blow. That's heroes, plural. We're all in this together.

    "That job is taken."
    Not by you, it isn't.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Zero,
    I will call you by that name. You have lost all my respect. Why are you doing this?
    -John

    ReplyDelete
  21. First of all, why are you taking the word of this holy vision you supposedly saw in the forest clearing, as an unequivocal truth? Why the fuck would you put stock in any sort of otherworldly knowledge from any obviously paranormal entity without a grain of salt? It's been pretty obvious from the get-go that these beings are designed to fuck with the minds of man. The fact that you're so terribly eager to justify this sacrilegious act towards the innocents you are seeking to "protect" gives me great concern.

    Oh, wait, now I've read a bit farther down. You're still fucking insane, imagining yourself as the god-damn protagonist of some dramaturgically tragic little supernatural horror script. It's just a bit more cognitively phrased now than your inane rants of "THE SACRED HEAVENS UPLIFT ME TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE AT GOD'S SIDE, THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE SKY UNRAVEL AND THE ARCHANGELS BEGIN TO CRACK THE SEVEN SEALS, SOUND THE SEVEN TRUMPETS AND DRAIN THE SEVEN CHALICES TO INVOKE GOD'S WILL". Which, to be honest, gets a bit boring to listen to after a while. Writers ain't good preachers, bub, take it from a dabbler in both fields.

    From what I've read of you before this shift, you seemed like a good character and a fellow who I could have enjoyed indulging in some malt liquor with, but with this I'm sad to say you won't be getting a 40 of Saint Ides from me anytime soon. Unless you want to stop being a retard, or get some psychiatric assistance, or pry the cold bottle from my frigid, lifeless hands. In all cases, I invite you to Los Angeles. Because I'm runnin', and there's a buddy by my side, and we're unarmed and completely vulnerable to your potentially ferocious onslaught. I know you won't balk at the chance to 'prove' your mettle. Who ever wants to taste the bitter sting of defeat twice?

    I don't even know you, frankly, and I've just penned this huge angry rant calling you out on your bullshit. Call me macho or daft or ORGULLOSO or whatever other feelings you'd like to project onto your "enemies", but I'm gonna state it straight: the only guy who fucked up in this part of the equation? You, bub. And the fact that you are not only not taking the blame for your own blunders, but proceeding to lump that blame onto those who put all their trust and support behind you and your cause, sorta rubs me the wrong way.

    Regards (but fuck off),
    Snore-de-Bliss

    ReplyDelete
  22. Zero, Ron thought the world of you. Now you've betrayed him as well as everyone else who ever respected you. You disgust me.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Think, Zero. You received this vision while in the midst of Slender Man's home. You can't trust anything you saw out there. Pleae, just sit down and reconsider for a bit before acting anymore. I beg you.

    ReplyDelete
  24. How the mighty have fallen... I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't just go back to The Black King, since all the best of this side seem to be doing His bidding, anyway.
    I won't, of course, but seeing these fools makes it tempting.

    ReplyDelete
  25. ...hehe, God's work?...

    You know, God was upset with his child when the Crusades...

    Sorry to say so, but you are not following God's path, you could, you could even be better than most God's followers. Is a pity that you don't let your mind go cold, and your soul warm.

    I have always seen all the proxies as wolves, and somehow from a falcon you were I only see a lost wolf now.

    But, God forgives, you just need to ask pardon, and repent.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I'm not sure what to think of all this yet, but something amused me. Everyone calling you "zerosage, sir". It reminded me of how you used to call Zeke "sir" the whole time. Odd.

    ReplyDelete
  27. And I would usually refuse to use a demon's services for this type of issues, but since it actually got tricked is like a neutral point.

    Still, I feel there could be more than one option used (yeah, why every summoner just call for demons?! I know is harder to know even your own angel's name but, it is so hard?!). No offenses AS, after all you save her, is more like a personal problem.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ohoho, so you think you're somehow Sage AND Hero now, don't you?

    Fine. You're gonna start killing us off? Come get me. I don't think I could put up much of a fight.

    But good luck fucking finding me.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Well, Zero, just about everyone here has told you this is stupid. We can't all be wrong, right?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Don't bother, Ron. He's too far gone in his own madness now.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh for the love of-

    NEVER SAY DON'T BOTHER, YOU IDIOTS!

    ReplyDelete
  32. What part of "kill Runners; collect their bones; make a weapon" sounded savable?

    ReplyDelete
  33. See, fools? You will all one day do the bidding of He That Is.
    A weapon? Made from fools' bones? That can defeat He That Is? You can't see it from here, but I am laughing my ass off over on my end. Yeah, sure. You go ahead and do that, zero"sage".
    Oh man, I am looking forward to seeing the end of this little freakshow.

    ReplyDelete
  34. And I'll get the popcorn, Hunter.

    ReplyDelete
  35. @BL: Plenty, if short-tempered MORONS would stop exascerbating the situation!

    But even if there was no hope, even if he was beyond help, beyond reason... Why in the HELL would you people think that shouting at him, insulting him, making him feel justified, will do even one iota of good?! For the love of GOD, people, do the words "basic psychology" mean nothing to you?!

    You want MORE people to die? Then by all means, continue. I hope it makes you feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I would hardly call being horrified at the prospects of a former ally coming to take your life and ripping a bone from your corpse afterwards being short-tempered. As far as I'm concerned, they have a right to voice their horror and disgust.

    It's too late for us to stop more people from dying. Zero, himself, has already stated that he's begun to kill Runners. He is officially a murderer now. For him go to through with it means he's already justified the means to himself. He's earned the criticism the people here have thrown at him.

    Tell me, Zero, what then if you get all the necessary bones, construct the weapon, and it fails to slay The Black King? What then? What then if it turns out you murdered all those innocence and it doesn't work? What then?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Maybe you're forgetting, BL, but these are BLOGS. This is text and written comments, and no one says anything that is not deliberate and thought out.

    Yeah, go ahead, express your anger and disgust. No one's stopping you, it's your god-given right. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, DON'T DO IT WHERE THE MENTALLY UNSTABLE PERSON CAN SEE IT AND BE ANTAGONIZED BY IT. There is absolutely no reason for it except catharsis on the part of the commenter in question. It is selfish and short-sighted. Please stop doing it.

    I think there's a chance. I would like dearly to seize that chance. But that chance will be GONE if you guys don't knock this bullshit off.

    ReplyDelete
  38. If you think you can turn Zero away from this path over a BLOG, then go right ahead.

    But my question to Zero still stands: what then if this fails?

    ReplyDelete
  39. Also (forgive the double posting) but if he is saying and doing all this under the influence of The Black King, just talking to him will not be enough.

    ReplyDelete
  40. So what if just talking to him over a blog won't be enough?

    It certainly won't hurt, unlike what SOME people are doing.

    ReplyDelete
  41. i think that this will be interesting. not fun. never fun.

    i don't know how to feel about you actually, mr. zerosage. i hear things. lots of things. and i can always read. but i don't think i'll ever know you. it makes me sad.

    whatever you do good luck, i guess. i wish i could help. maybe not in the way you first think of. i don't know anymore.

    never mind, i'm just some little girl making no sense. nice talking to you, mr. zerosage.

    ReplyDelete
  42. What's your scope of operation, my friend?
    Should I start taking precautions?
    Can you reach me?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Now what is it with all this hostility towards poor zerosage.
    Can't you people see that all he wants to do is harvest your bones for the GREATER GOOD?

    Come on, people. Take one for the team and let him rip your bones from your flesh. It's all for a good cause!

    ReplyDelete
  44. zerosage, please, you have another chance at your destiny, if you just...wait...until the 2011 solstice. It can happen again. It can all be fixed.

    And maybe the summer solstice...

    Oh, you're not paying attention to these comments anymore, are you...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Zero(sage), look, this really isn't necessary; me and the other writers only wanted to help, you see. I hate to say it, but you aren't blameless in all of this, and killing oter people won't solve anything. You've allowed yourself to become Slim Jim's tool.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Arkady, you better be joking.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Eh, keep in mind that Arkady is the guy who killed his roommate FOR SCIENCE!

    I wouldn't put it past him.

    ReplyDelete
  48. @ Jekyll: Wonderful...

    Sorry, Arkady, but I have better things to do than a lose a rib.

    ReplyDelete
  49. See, again with the negativity. It's not like you need your spinal chord or anything.

    And Ron, if you could see my face, you would see how incredibly seriously I am taking all of this.
    You would also see that I have a box of popcorn in my lap, in preparation to watch the grand spectacle that's going to occur here.

    ReplyDelete
  50. That you think we should just take this positively is alarming. No thank you. I like living and intend to keep living.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I want to give Arkady and Zero high fives.
    Kill them all. Cauterize the wound. Maybe this will end.

    Dear god this has to end.

    ReplyDelete
  52. If you want to end it by killing people, you'll have to just genecide the entire world because thanks to the internet, there will always be a new Runner. The only way to end this is kill The Black King.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Zerosage, all we can do is watch and see what your next move is. The Runners will run as they always have. You're just another threat they have to run from. No more or less dangerous than the others, with the exception of our Tall Acquaintance, of course.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Glorious Zero. Continue you on your path of bloodshed. Go. Go. GO. Terminate. TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!

    ReplyDelete
  55. you proxy bastards need to shut up, if you think you're excluded from this mess...

    The only difference is that I don't have to feel bad about gutting your type.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Actually, once you kill enough times you'll grow numb to it no matter who it is, Zero.

    Zero, would you be willing to sit down and discuss this face-to-face, in person, with one of us without trying to kill us, just once? One chance to talk with you about this is all I ask.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Well...at least you feel bad about killing everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  58. You know the phrase, "it gets easier." war vets note that killing does get easier as time goes on and you keep doing it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. @Blackleaf - No yielding, no chance. If I'm committed enough to take apart innocent lives to save the masses, I'll cut you down where you stand. No bravado, no tricks, no cocky training will save you.

    @Arkady - I forgot...yes, you killed your roommate. How could I forget? Scum.

    @Ron - The day I stop weeping for the lives I have to ruin, is the day I turn the sword on myself.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Zero, what makes you so convinced that this will work? Alright, you saw a bleeding tree in a vision.
    I just don't see how what you saw equates to killing Runners.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Don't you dare touch, Leaf, little man. He's mine for the butchering, and only mine.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Your dedication to your crusade is morbidly inspiring, Zerosage.

    ReplyDelete
  63. What is this? Some kind of ARG? If this is all true, then you are one fucked up customer, Zerosage. In the meantime, I'm going to assume it's not.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Weirdo, get the fuck out of here while you can. Knowing is death.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I thought this was some crappy ARG too. Unfortunately I'm being proved wrong all over the place.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Great. It gets better and better, no powers, no actual skill, and now someone coming after Runners and Proxies. This. Is. Going. To. Suck.

    ReplyDelete
  67. ...those visions, haven't you already considering you are misinterpreting them?

    or have you already considered those visions comes from the same thing you are trying to eliminate?

    maybe just a way to keep you busy?

    ReplyDelete
  68. @Keiken Trust me, you aren't the first to propose this theory. Zerosage is now a pure embodiment of zealotry. No amount of reasoning will get to him.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hilarious.
    Zero has returned from the dead to fall off his high horse.
    Sadly he seems to be the only one who knows the truth.
    Shame the others will not follow by example.

    ReplyDelete
  70. it seems that your mind has already been taken zerosage ...

    ReplyDelete