I'm being followed. Something just seems to be behind me, just out of sight, as if it were my own shadow, looming over me as I move. Its...there's something out there, behind me. I don't know what it is, but I can feel it.
It's not him, though...that thing is different. It has this aura about it, the monster, you all know. I mean I haven't seen the monster in three months. He doesn't care about me anymore. I care about him though. He killed some people I liked. I saw them as my family, you know. All you guys that I talked to back in the day, you all helped me...and here I am...well, you know.
It's so fucking bitter. I have to, guys, I just...
You don't understand this vision, this need. Its like my hands move and
I'm compelled. And I don't understand why God would do this to me. I never even believed in him, but someone is out here helping me, coaxing me along. He's here to Help me. Ever since my helper rescued me
from that horrid tree, the Bleeding Tree.
Fuck. I keep seeing it, every turn I take, if there's a treeline...this huge dark space fills it up, blood oozing out of the ground. Its face dark and shaded, almost human. It judges me, it waits.
It fucking waits for me. It knows what I am doing, what I need to do, and it judges me, it fucking...
it's just SITTING THERE, AND JUDGING ME, god I
A few weeks..or maybe days, I can't remember anymore. I checked my email...and people were talking to me, they asked for help. Five of them sent me emails. They didn't forget about me, I guess.
The first, I forget her name, Kelly I think... No...not Jill, Jill fell, she died earlier. Kelly...
She was in poor shape, when she wrote to me. Binary code laced her words, I could hear her suffering in every word she wrote. She left a phone number, begging me, begging zerosage to help her. It had been in my account for some time, but I decided to call. My job is to help everyone, that's what Robert pushed me to do. That's what you wanted of me, how can I refuse to help? People look up to me.
When I spoke to her, I tried to remain calm, to passively reassure her that I was en route to help. What I heard in return was a woman who had lost all hope. Her voice cracked in stress, her silences were belabored with tears and panic. My heart wept, just hearing the..the sheer pain and passion in her voice.
It took me several days to investigate, to find her in Ladoga. Kelly was blonde, her hair trailed down her back, caked with mud, blood and sweat. She had a dark complexion that just made her dark eyes stand out more... would've been beautiful if her face wasn't all smashed up, cut with glass. I chastised myself, purging my lecherous nature, restraining myself from leering at her. I simply needed to speak to her. I needed to help her. She told me about the monster, how it followed her... I've heard it all before, of course. However, Kelly was smart enough to check the internet, in hopes of rationalizing her delusions.
She tried every possible conjecture to ward him away, strange symbols scattered over the room, garlic, and crystals were scattered over the home. Lately, she had simply lost the will to live, having decided to drink to excess, and failing that, overdose on Nyquil, in hopes of a night of peace...of death. I could hear that...that soulless droning, that should've been called a lovely voice. It had no spirit, no...inflection. She was dead inside.
Have you ever watched a person become reborn? I sat with her, and talked to her. I could relate to her situation so well, that for a moment, I saw life in her eyes. She was not alone, not with me there. The fire of hope just barely flickered. She begged me not to leave her, to take her with me. I agreed, of course. She was once a beautiful woman, and she needed me. I was here to help her.
As she packed her things, her mind preoccupied, rattled with the concept of survival, I walked into her room behind her, and removed my mask.
I am an average man, I believe, but when she turned around towards me, she saw me as god himself, I think. Kelly came towards me, crying. I held her tight against me, feeling the soft warmth of her body, her supple curves against me. As gently as I could, I whispered to her, that I would take care of her, that I would make her right. She closed her eyes, and nodded softly. I kissed her on the forehead.
She never saw the knife.
My stomach wretched immediately as she fell backwards, my eyes shut tightly. I couldn't bear to see the look in her eyes. The look of betrayal. I...I can't bear it. So I sat there, on my knees, as I heard her gurgle, and vomited everything I've ever eaten. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to explain, in a solemn whisper, that I would save her. She just had to trust me....
After I was certain she had fallen silent, lifeless, I set to my grim task. I..
I didn't want to. Really...she was beautiful, she needed me. But she had been taken, she wasn't human anymore really. She had almost become one of them. Kelly was too exposed to the evils, the darkness outside our time.
I covered her face with some blankets, heaping clothes atop her until only her left arm was visible, and then with my knife, I cut into her.
Tendons and ligaments impeded me, to the point that afterwards I picked up a serrated knife for this purpose. I cursed myself, screaming wordlessly, as I begged forgiveness from her, from everyone.
The tree outside stared back in.
I claimed the bone, THAT bone, the one to stop him, stowing it in my backpack, then moved on.
It sits there now, next to the others.
Next to Amelia's.
Forgive me, Amelia. I am still here to save you.