Thursday, April 28, 2011

Trouble & Pigtails

I've been staying a step ahead of it.  My shadow.  Whatever the fuck that thing is that threatens me with death every time I stop moving.  I'm hoping that being ahead of schedule will help keep me from falling back under its chill.

I try not to look in the woods nowadays.  I always expect to see it there.  That gnarled, malevolent tree, oozing thick, putrid blood. 

Sometimes the worst part is who I see upon it. 

The many of them.  All impaled, or resting upon its branches, their innards spilled out around it as if some sort of visceral halo.  It’s....fuck...

it's numbing,  Look I know you all aren't too sure about this monstrosity, but let me assure you it's fucking real.

My heart fucking stopped, and shards of ice were thrust into my body upon SEEING the monstrosity.   I was pulled unto the ground as if gravity had tripled, and an unseen weight was pressing upon me.

And there at its roots, it sapped my strength.

To free the souls of those before, I fight.

I've been cutting through some backyards these last few minutes, as I typo repeatedly.  Fucking dog comes from nowhere, head of steam, and tries to take my leg off.   Just came running full speed, snarling.   It backed off when I didn't run.  Heh, it ran off whimpering. 

Can't show fear to lower life forms.  I've seen much worse than a dog protecting his home.

Reminds me of my situation, now that I think about it.

If he had stood up to me, maybe...just maybe I would've fallen before his bite.   Perhaps, if another succumbs not to fear, perhaps one day, we will fell our own foe.

Not that he's shown himself to me, not anymore.

So anyway, I told both of you readers of mine that I'd fill you in on this new Rika.  The psycho that's been pissing me off.

First, I think her name's Erika, I could swear I heard that when I first saw her, so that means she chose to go by 'Rika', to remind me of past issues.

That's not a problem, Rika 1.0 wasn't exactly a criminal mastermind.

And one last thing before I tell this short story...I know that some of you always found my altercations with Rika 1.0 to be humorous, and are probably expecting some sort of callback to my focused attentions on her rump.

I can respect that, we all need a laugh sometime.

Okay, what the fuck's up with the animals out here, just had two cats screech and run away.  Swear, if I find that someone's out here abusing animals, I'll be dispensing some instant justice.

A few weeks ago I was chillin at some Starbucks.  Not necessarily a net savvy kind of guy, but it's a place to charge my phone, and relax.  No one seems to mind a guy just hanging out.  Plus Runners hang out there sometimes, due to free wifi....

Got no fucking idea why this phone is still working.  I figured whoever was footing Nessa's bill would've cancelled service by now.

Heh, Evil is footing the bills,  that's sort of funny.

I was sitting on one of those nicer leather couches, relaxing.  I left all my 'work related' items outside, in an alley, that I can view from here.  Last I checked, uppity pretentious baristas tend to frown on 18 inches of sharpened replica POS steel on their premises.

I was typing away, making some comments, trying to explain the...ah...precarious position I've been shoehorned into by otherworldly forces, when someone sits down beside me, within arm’s reach.

Being as I'm a personal space sort of guy, I looked, already disgusted.

She didn't notice me at first, so I glanced at her for a moment.


She wore pigtails that seemed to be everywhere around her.  Her skin tone was dark, but with a rich brown hue to it.  Coupled with this svelte, runner's frame, was the fact she wore a tight red buttonless blouse of some sort, that showed off her more than properly endowed bust line.  The low slung jeans only added to the tantalizing appearance of the woman.

And then she smiled at me. 

I turned away, deciding it was time to leave.  So as I pushed off against the couch, using a hand to prop myself up,  I felt her hand slip under mine as I moved.

Muttering an apology, I felt the need to return to my work.  I hate the feeling of vulnerability, without my added protection from whatever mindfuckery abounds.  I felt the mask in my hoodie's pocket comfortingly.

My sword was where I left it, even as I scowled at it being so close to filth and garbage, this instrument of purification....

Her>>> "Running off so soon, sugar?  You barely even let me say 'Hello'"

I spun around, my sheathed blade in hand.

The beautiful woman had followed me, bounding after me.  Bouncing.   I was caught off guard

Me>>>  "Oh...sorry,  I can't stay, Miss.  Goodbye"

She stayed up with me.

Her>>>  "You sure you can't stick around for five minutes?  What's your hurry?"

Again I begged off of her, as I proceeded to hoist my backpack, and depart.  Moments later I heard a clatter of noise from behind me.

She had picked up a small sledge hammer.  Must've been in the alley for some reason.  Now, she had become a threat.

Me>>> alright?

Her>>>  Oh I'm fine, Sugar...But I'll be even better after you and I get done having a little fun here.

I kept my sword sheath before me.  She may be after my nonexistent money, but she didn't need to die.

Precious Life.

Me>>> What do you want?

Her>>> Wow you are thick, Sugar.  How the mighty fall, huh Zero?"

She knew my name.

She kicked a trash box out of the way.

Her>>> Or do you prefer Remnant?

Then she laughed lightly, sighing wistfully at the end.

Her>>>  Here I am all prettied up, ready to go, and who do I stumble across, but the 'Sage of Nothing' himself.

I didn't respond.  She might've been a Runner, she was certainly in shape for it...

Her>>>  Name's Rika, Sugar.  Now let's dance!

I readied to defend myself.  Thoughts of chivalry were tossed to the curb.  If this psycho wanted to take me on, there was no quarter to be given.

Giggling, she raised the hammer over her head, with both arms clasping it.

And then her smile faded.  Rika froze in her tracks, as she stared over my shoulder.

Something caught her eye, but I wasn't foolish enough to look away.  Not with an eight pound sledge so close to me.

I took advantage, drawing the blade finally.

She retreated a few steps

Rika>>>  Well...there goes my fun.  We'll have to play later, Sugar."

Her voice wavered as she fled.

I took the cue to investigate what she had seen.  There was a parking lot, and an empty street.

So that means she saw the monster just then, and I did not.

Why was she afraid?


  1. Oh lord, Zero... Tell me, does this Rika have a southern accent? When people say "sugar" a lot, I tend to imagine a southern accent.

    As for the tree... christ, I'm getting a better picture now, I really am. I think I'm finally starting to understand the problem, even if your proposed "solution" is still a little foggy in the logic department.

    Be careful.

  2. What if the Slendy we've all been seeing isn't real. What if that's just the form it chooses to show us whenever it brings an aspect of itself into our world? What if it's real form is a certain Tree that you tend to run into, and you're just the poor bastard who got to see it for what it really is in a world close to ours, but not entirely the same. Seeing something like what this thing REALLY is up close could certainly have an affect on your mind, tearing into your mind and forcing you to see something it isn't capable of handling.

    That's my two cents, anyway.

    You'd be much better off if you gave up on the bones by the way. It won't be worth it.

  3. Why was I afraid? Are you kidding me? How thick are you? Working for the Tall One does not make him any less terrifying when he's up close and personal! And here I was thinking that just maybe you had a brain that extended beyond gaping at a girl's chest.

  4. You always did have an eye for detail~

    Sledge vs blade... either she's optimistic/delusional in her abilities, or she had something else in mind entirely....

    Too many things to keep an eye on. Stay sharp, Zerosage.

  5. Zero: I read what you wrote on Reintegration Tablets...whatever that thing is.

    Look, I'm not going to spend three paragraphs posturing. I've managed to show up in the nick of time before, and I can do it again. I'll have had a full night's sleep, I'll have eaten well, and I'm about as good at fighting dirty. Sure you want this? Stay away from Kay.

  6. I saw a tree in my dreams when I was first waking up to all of this shit, but... nothing that bad. Whatever you saw, I honestly hope it never shows up in my head.

  7. @Amal - So the Devil Summoner is spoiling for a fight eh? Whatever.

  8. Zero I've been meaning to ask you for awhile now. Am I on your list of corrupted people to kill? If I am I suppose I'll be out of your reach until I'm back state side. I don't suppose you have a means of intercontinental travel do you?

  9. First off, get it right: The Jersey Devil isn't really a "Devil" per se. It stands in its own funky category. I'm just a bloody shaman who can summon.

    More importantly, leave Kay alone. She's off your list, she survived on her own strength. She's nowhere near proxy-town. The last thing she needs is someone like you or me hanging around her. This is only a fight if you turn it into one. Just leave her out of your crusade.

  10. Zerosage, I have a question.

    Do you think it's possible that there's a country where He doesn't exist? Because I've been reading several people's blogs since October of 2010, and I've yet to be affected by Him. At all.

    I'm sorry to be asking you this, but...well, you're a Sage (or at least you used to be) so...I figure you know better than I do.

  11. @Chloe - it's my belief that the monster is the internet's issue more than anywhere else. I'd assume that less developed countries are 'safer' if there is such a place.

    @Will - Would you trust my answer?

    @Amal - There's a specific phrase for what you did. You know what it is. Say it.

  12. Hello, Zero. I'vedone things. Very PAInFUL things tosomewho appRove ofyour sLauGhter.

    Five. Withfire.

    There aresomewho think thatmytime would be beTter spent cHasing you than sLaying your acOLytes. I agree.

    Iam cOming foryou,zeRosage. Iamonfootsothiswilltakesometime, butIam COMINg.

    Inthe meANtime, there are lesSOns thatneedtobe taUght. Morewillburn.

  13. She just ran? The incompetence of some of Master's servants would be funny if it weren't so sad.


  14. Even the famous Zerosage. But this one goes for all of you: if you want to kill a certain population, say, Runners, don't go announcing all your actions and plans all over the Internet. That's common sense.

  15. TRansParency isa viRTue in these times. Iamnot kilLing forthejoyofit. I enJoy itnomorethanan exECutioner does. Ihavea meSsage.

  16. Well Zero, which phrase do you want? are you like Hospitaler, and want me to call it "Sacrilege?" My mythology is decidedly more complicated than a Catholic's, and as someone who looked up astral projection before, you should know better. Or would you prefer "Cheating", which is also a good phrase to describe it.

    In any case, by your logic, I am tainted. Kay is not. If you've got a problem, leave it between you and me.

  17. ...If you say is more complicated, then you don't know what is behind catholic faith.

  18. It isn't so much what you call it. It's the action. Let's not focus so much on wordplay.

    You and your friends summoned a demon. It's still beyond me how anyone would think that trading one evil for another is a good idea.

    That's all I'm saying about it. Also, I'm not Catholic.

  19. @Amal/Hospitaller - Ohh sorry, you missed the point, Hospit got it, I was looking for the phrase 'use evil to fight evil'. See the difference between us is that I understand I'm doing horrible things, to end this curse. You just like to hide behind your 'but I'm probably crazy' shtick, instead of taking real responsibility.

    Then again, what do I know? I can't make heads or tails out of your work, other than the lolcats or whatever they are you have.

    @Killjay - I really don't care who knows here, so long as they don't bar my path. I write for two reasons, one of which is to reassure people that the dawn will come. Care to guess the other? Hint: It involves memory loss due to repeated concussions from fucking Arkady and others.

    @Glassman - and lastly for *this* shithead here...

    Buddy, I dunno who you are, what you think you are, but I will fucking slaughter you and a thousand more like you before I'm done. Talk your cryptic bullshit, make your idle fucking threats.

    Bottom Line:

    You're fucking dead, and you damn well know it, which is why you'll pussy around saying how you're going to end me

    and it

  20. Responsibility. Huh. Last I checked, I was running around rescuing people from cosmic horrors, not because I had to. Not because I especially want to. I did it because I have the power to do so, and when you're in a position where you CAN do something about this kind of thing, you have to. Because it's the right thing to do. Meanwhile, you're running around killing people for a weapon that can't work, and calling it "Justice." Define "Responsibility" for me again?

    Man, you aren't willing to say you're insane, you have no lolcats, and you're busy telling me about responsibility with one hand while you're murdering the innocent with the other. Why not be responsible, bury the bones, and try saving the day the RIGHT way?

  21. I take back what I said, The difference between us, is that you're stepford smiling through this entire ordeal, covering your wounds with pictures and songs, trying to cute up your problems.

    I suppose that's not truly a bad thing, but if you're just as fucked up as I am, which you certainly are, I think the people that trust you need to really know it, don't you?

    They really need to know that you're seriously damaged, so they can react accordingly, instead of blindly trusting. But you say it tongue in cheek, Hell I can almost see a little fucking smilie winking at me every time you say your mildly effacing chagrin, that's practically a fucking catch phrase.

    But then again, I might be crazy. ;)

  22. and another thing

    what fucking 'right way' is there? Huh? Running for life, letting madness seep into your bones, and turning ax crazy to work for that thing?

    Only a few blogger types have been able to run for more than six months, everyone realizes eventually that they have to face their fears.

    So what's the answer then?

    Better some are bloodied, than lose the world.

    I mean, fucking monster got a wikipedia page.


  23. Oh, look at the great Sage of Nothing talking all tough! Isn't that cute? You scorn your former idealism, and yet you still cling so desperately to it. You actually believe that you can make a difference? Master could crush you with hardly a thought. All of you, not just Zero. So why doesn't He bother?

    Because you're just that insignificant.


  24. give me a little bit more time, proxy. I'll bring your entire world down around you.

    And then we'll be free.

  25. Crazy. What do you know about crazy? You knuckled under and gave into your madness. I've spent the last eight odd years of my life dealing with all kinds of fucked up things. Fuck me sideways, in another month it'll be 9 years.

    I may be one fucked up son of a bitch, and I know it, but I've never crossed the line. You? You've been running from ONE abomination, for about a year. Somehow, that entitles you to kill a whole bunch of people and be the arbiter of life and death? And when you have all those bones, what are you going to do with them? Are you going to cast a spell? Perform a ritual? You're a running gag, Zero. I don't think you could tell us how the bones are supposed to end this even if you wanted to. My bet is that it's one of IT'S commands, and you don't want to admit it. You're just another puppet out for blood.

    So no smiles or jokes. I'm crazy. But I've STILL got the sense to know that what you're doing is wrong.

  26. Not an abomination. NEVER CALL HIM AN ABOMINATION! You humans wage war over petty grievances, you fill others with sorrow simply because you can, you attack and you destroy without rhyme or reason, all while wearing a mask of honor and chivalry! You speak of right and wrong-- concepts that YOU created-- and then you turn around spin loops in your speech to justify your own wrongs! And you DARE pass judgment on Him!?

    YOU are the abominations! All of you are nothing but MONSTERS! DIE LEAVE GO FUCKING ROT!

    Master has given me a purpose. He has given me companionship and loyalty-- things I have never known among your kind.

    And He doesn't lie about what he is.


  27. looks like we both have someone we can hate, Amal.

    Hey Joey. Fuck you, and fuck your master...up his crackless ass with a garden rake.

  28. ... Not going to lie, I get a better quality of troll than you do. At least with Morningstar, I get good quality banter. You get Joey the Morningstar Knockoff with none of the sense of humor, and The Glass Man who failed third grade english.

    That said, stay away from Kay, you're basically working for the enemy, and cut it out.

  29. Hey pencil dick, better known as Steward. When the Tall One appears over your target's shoulder and you get that lovely little tingle in your brain that tells you if you don't move your ass you will soon be leaking your gray matter from your ears, you run. He wanted me to leave dumbass and I was not about to disobey.

    But hey sugar, if you want a piece of me, I will be more then happy to introduce you to the business end of my hammer. Do you think your blood will leave as pretty a pattern as I thought Zero's blood might?

  30. Andtheysaythatonly rUnners fight among theMSelves.

  31. @AmALgamaTionSage: Thank you, youareverykind.

  32. Only Runners slaughter each other for idiotic causes. Zero.

  33. @Rika: Whatever. I'm not interested in your excuses or your belligerence. Frankly you failed the instant you decided to announce your presence instead of just killing the guy, but whatever. You're the expert. I'm just the new guy.

    @Everyone else: As intriguing as your opinions of me are, I regret to say that we will most likely never meet. Runners are not my department, and facing you idiots is better left to people more... OK, I can't say "competent" with a straight face since it took them nearly half a year to kill one delusional kid, so I guess I'll go with "experienced".

    Regardless, I have a teenage girl to stalk, and doubtless my... colleagues... are planning some brilliant scheme or another. Perhaps they'll hold another voting incentive. Wouldn't that be nice.

    Oh, and I sincerely apologize for my previous outburst. I do ever so hope we can all be friends...



  34. Sugar I ain't no expert, I'm just a girl that the Tall One lets loose to have some fun. And you have a lot to learn about working for Him. If He considered me to be a failure, I wouldn't still be breathing to type this. You on the other hand are one of the saddest excuses for a proxy I have ever seen. Having a temper tantrum on a blog with no cred to back yourself up? Grow some balls and do a better job before you learn the hard way what happens when He isn't happy anymore.

    Bored now!

    Hey Zero wanna see what happens if I get to your little Kay girl before you do?

  35. I'm confounded by these proxies. I don't even think they know what their role is, other than to be belligerent and annoying.

  36. Jegus, why don't you two get a room, and leave me the fuck out of it.

    I've already gotten enough bullshit with the death threats, that I don't need you guts proxy sniping each other.

    So Rika, what I need you to do, is take that hammer you've been pissing me off with

    and go find Steward

    and fucking brain him

    what was that thing you said about blood splatter?

    Do that to him.

  37. I'd love to get a room, but unfortunately I find wanton violence to be such a turn-off.

    But I digress. I came back to apologize for my behavior up to this point. It was very unprofessional of me to get into an argument with so many people on the first week of my new job. I humbly, deeply apologize.

    And Rika? I, Pencil-Dick-Who-Is-Called-Steward, hereby extend to you the hand of peace.

    And zero? I wish you luck on your quest to... do whatever it is you think you're doing. Really, I do.


  38. Hello again, Zero.
    I have been thinKIng ofthe queSTion you asked me. What doI think Iam?

    Forone, Idonot think Iam crYptic. At least, not anYMore. I also regRETtably donot think there area thOUsand more like me. It apPears that I alone wish to deSTroy youforthe greATer good as opPosed to serVIng the TORturer.

    LastLy, I think that Iam soMeoNe whoonan insTInctivE level desPIses you. Not beCAuse you kill but beCAuse you feel guilt and still purSUe your madNEss, beCAuse your regRet fails to even moMEntariLy make you recONsider your miNDless slaUghter. Youarenota moNSter becaUse you enjoy the death of othErs, but becAuse you desPIse it but will not liSten to your consCieNCe.

    I have had an ePipHany of sorts. ThouGh Idonot reGret havinG kilLed those five Icanno lonGer blame them for your fauLts. You aloNe I will hunt. Good day.

  39. You guys have to admit that Steward is probably the most apologetic sociopath you've seen.

    As for Rika...well, at least she's hot.

    And Glass Man: is there something wrong with your Caps Lock key? Because, and I say this with the utmost respect, your comments read like they were written by a psychopathic second grader.

  40. heh, I've read up on glass man just recently.

    He says he was partially proxied, but didn't fully take. Which is pretty tragic, if you ask me. Had his identity almost ripped out of him.

    Still corrupted though.

    And what the fuck is with this 'people who are following my cause' crap?

    I work solo.

  41. Maybe they're just hoping that by professing to follow your cause, they won't be targetted?

  42. Ifso, they were very wrong.
    Andyes, MarTIn, Iama seConD gradEr. I enjoY burniNG peopLe to death and cRayon draWings.

  43. Crayons AND fire? Sounds fun.

    Indeed, if it's the case they're certainly desperate.

  44. Uh.. whoever might be trying to keep themselves safe by professing to side with Zero, I guess.

  45. Followed by a Shadow?
    At least one of us is taking action.