I’m here to announce the death of Timothy “Zero” Holiday. Time of death: June 21, 2010, aprox. 3:30 pm. Location: approximately 15 miles west of Indianapolis. Cause of death: unknown, but believed to be evisceration.
There were a couple Agents in the area tracking him when he went into a forest. They went in after him when he didn’t come out. They found a huge, dead tree (the surviving Agent says that they should have noticed a tree like that towering over the rest of the forest). Zero was hanging on one of the branches. One of the two got closer to make sure that it was, in fact Zero, and that he was, in fact, dead. He managed to yell back that the ripped-open abdomen was pretty conclusive and that a bone in his forearm was missing before…well, we’re not sure what exactly happened, since his partner is extremely unstable and unwilling to talk about it at this time, refusing to say more about it than “the fucking tree got him.”
The surviving agent also managed to grab a backpack belonging to Zero from near the tree, as well as the smartphone he posted from. The mask was also at the base of the tree, but the Agent who didn’t survive had that. They were unable to track down the sword and jade elephant he had discarded earlier, and, strangely enough, all the bones had vanished. Not a trace of them anywhere. All that’s left of Zero is a backpack and a phone…and not even that anymore, as the backpack has been burned and the phone smashed. The sword and the elephant are still out there, though. Good luck to anyone who thinks they can find them, I guess.
That’s the report. I’ll admit that it was a bit hard to remain professional for this one. If you want to see my personal thoughts on the matter, you can go to my own site, but I’m not putting them on here, just out of respect for the blog.
Show’s over, people. Nothing to see. Move along.
-Don’t Shoot The Messenger-